Life is a series of moments, each with its own unique potential for joy, peace, and fulfilment. However, for those suffering from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (Complex PTSD or CPTSD), the present moment can often feel overshadowed by past traumas and anxieties about the future. As someone who has dedicated my life to helping individuals achieve true wellness, I want to share the profound impact of living in the now and how it can be a cornerstone of your healing journey.
Understanding Complex PTSD
Before we delve into the importance of living in the present, let’s briefly understand Complex PTSD. Unlike PTSD, which typically arises from a single traumatic event, Complex PTSD stems from prolonged exposure to trauma, often during childhood. This can include experiences such as chronic abuse, neglect, or domestic violence. The effects of CPTSD are pervasive, affecting emotional regulation, self-perception, and relationships.
The Power of the Present Moment
Living in the now means fully engaging with the present moment without being preoccupied with the past or anxious about the future. This practice can be particularly healing for those with Complex PTSD, as it allows for a reprieve from the constant mental chatter that often accompanies trauma. By focusing on the present, we can create a space where healing can occur, free from the shadows of past experiences.
The Opposite of Stress is Kindness
Dr. David Hamilton eloquently stated, “the opposite of stress is kindness.” This simple yet profound truth highlights the transformative power of kindness in our lives. Kindness is more than just politeness; it is an active engagement with others and ourselves in a compassionate, understanding manner. For those with Complex PTSD, practising kindness can be a powerful tool in the healing process.
Embracing Kindness in Everyday Interactions
As a former police officer, I learned the value of engaging with others and understanding their stories. In my line of work, listening was not just a skill but a necessity. By allowing people to share their experiences, I found that they felt heard and valued. This act of kindness, of genuinely listening and being present, can have a profound impact on both the speaker and the listener.
When we focus on others’ stories, we are naturally drawn into the present moment. This shift in focus from our own worries to the experiences of others can provide relief from the persistent anxiety that often accompanies CPTSD. Moreover, it builds a sense of connection and community, which are essential components of healing.
Practical Steps to Live in the Now
1. Mindfulness Meditation: Mindfulness meditation is not just about sitting in a lotus position and saying “ohmmm.” It’s about fully experiencing the present moment through a variety of techniques. Focus on your breathing, noticing the sensation of air entering and leaving your lungs. Pay attention to your body, feeling the weight of your limbs, or the texture of your skin. Bilateral stimulation, such as tapping your shoulders alternately or gently hugging yourself, can help ground you. Acknowledge the outside world – the sounds, smells, and sensations – without letting them overwhelm you. Instead of pushing these distractions away, acknowledge them and then gently bring your focus back to a positive thought or your breathing. This practice can help reduce anxiety and improve your ability to stay present.
2. Engage in Meaningful Conversations: Make a conscious effort to engage with others in meaningful conversations. Ask open-ended questions and listen actively. This not only helps to strengthen your relationships but also draws your focus away from your own stressors.
3. Gratitude Journaling: If you’re hesitant about alternative therapies, starting with a simple practice like gratitude journaling can be a gentle introduction. Begin by thinking about three positive things that happened during your day before you go to sleep. These can be small moments of joy or comfort, such as enjoying a good meal, a kind word from a friend, or a beautiful sunset. As you get comfortable with this practice, you can expand it into a gratitude journal. Each day, write down these three things you are grateful for. This simple exercise can help shift your focus from what’s troubling you to what you appreciate in your life, gradually improving your mood and developing a more positive outlook.
4. Physical Activity: Exercise is a great way to stay present. Activities such as yoga, walking, or even dancing require you to focus on your body and movements, grounding you in the moment.
5. Creative Expression: Engaging in creative activities such as painting, writing, or playing music can be a wonderful way to express your feelings and stay in the present. These activities require concentration and can be very therapeutic.
6. Good Nutrition: Maintaining a healthy diet is crucial for mental and physical well-being. Reduce the intake of ultra-processed foods and sugars, and focus on whole foods like fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. Proper nutrition can improve mood and cognitive function, aiding in the management of Complex PTSD.
The Role of Self-Compassion
In addition to kindness towards others, it is crucial to practise self-compassion. Many individuals with Complex PTSD struggle with self-criticism and feelings of unworthiness. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. This means acknowledging your struggles without judgement and recognizing that it’s okay to have difficult emotions.
Building a Support Network
Healing from Complex PTSD is not a journey to be undertaken alone. Building a strong support network is essential. Surround yourself with people who understand and validate your experiences. This might include friends, family, or support groups. Sharing your journey with others can provide comfort and reduce feelings of isolation.
Professional Help
While self-help strategies are valuable, professional support is often necessary for managing Complex PTSD. Therapists who specialise in trauma can provide tailored treatments such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). However, it is also important to explore therapies such as Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and non-conversational hypnotherapy. EFT, or tapping, combines cognitive and exposure therapy with acupressure to help reduce the emotional impact of traumatic memories. Non-conversational hypnotherapy can access deep subconscious patterns and promote healing without the need to talk extensively about the trauma. These approaches can be particularly beneficial for those who feel uncomfortable with traditional talk therapies.
The Importance of Routine
Establishing a daily routine can provide a sense of stability and predictability, which is particularly beneficial for those with Complex PTSD. Incorporate activities that promote well-being, such as regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep. A structured routine can help reduce anxiety and create a sense of normalcy.
Letting Go of the Need to Control
A common challenge for individuals with Complex PTSD is the need to control their environment to feel safe. However, this can lead to increased stress and anxiety. Learning to let go and accept that uncertainty is a part of life can be liberating. Focus on what you can control – your actions, your thoughts, and your reactions – and let go of the rest.
Embracing Uncertainty
Living in the now also means embracing uncertainty. Life is inherently unpredictable, and trying to control every aspect can be exhausting. By accepting that uncertainty is a natural part of life, you can reduce anxiety and open yourself up to new possibilities. Embrace the unknown with curiosity rather than fear.
The Healing Power of Nature
Spending time in nature can be incredibly healing. Nature has a way of grounding us and bringing us back to the present moment. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the woods, or simply sitting by a body of water, nature can provide a sense of peace and calm. Make it a habit to spend time outdoors and connect with the natural world.
Conclusion
Living in the now is not just a concept; it is a practice that can transform your life. For those with Complex PTSD, it offers a way to step out of the shadows of the past and the anxieties of the future. By embracing the present moment, practising kindness, and building meaningful connections, you can create a space for healing and growth.
Remember, healing is a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. Be kind to yourself, seek support when needed, and embrace the power of the present moment. By doing so, you can move towards a life of balance, fulfilment, and true wellness.